Tom & Lisa

How to Keep a Relationship Going After the Honeymoon Phase is Over | Relationship Theory

When you first started dating, all you could think about was seeing him or her and being together. Whenever their name was mentioned you smiled. Maybe you rearranged everything and everyone on your schedule to make sure nothing stood in the way of the joy you felt. How long does that phase of new love last though? Time goes on and the relationship evolves, or maybe dissolves for some? Have you been left feeling like the spark you once had is gone, or not as strong as it once was? Possibly, it’s your partner telling you the spark is gone and you’re left trying to figure out how to keep that spark going. In this episode, Tom and Lisa unpack the importance of communicating. It’s not enough to assume how your partner defines “spark” and in order for your relationship to survive, you’re going to have to talk about it, listen, and get each other’s perspectives to move forward to the next level. Making an effort is just part of the process of having a fulfilling relationship.



Defining terms to one another and communicating to understand [1:17]

Approach your relationship as novice regardless of how many relationships you’ve had [3:00]

Tom breaks down the effect new love has in relationships and the intoxicating benefit [3:37]

Taking the relationship beyond the intoxicating phase to the level of building together [4:34]

Fulfillment versus happiness in relationships like deep contentment and satisfaction [6:00]

Communicating and being open to each other’s perspective is the way forward [7:05]

Transitioning into a long term relationship and still working on yourself [8:10]

Lisa explains why still making an effort is important although the motivation has changed [9:15]

Comfy together and transparent conversation about looking “good” for each other [9:48]



When you’re orbiting stars around a shared center of gravity it doesn’t become that sort of weird destructive thing […] it’s like two people that revolve around the relationship” Tom Bilyeu [4:48]


Listen to each, define terms, and then we can figure out how to march forward together.” [7:18]


“Even if you’re not trying to capture the exact spark that you had I think it is important to still make sure that you are making the effort for each other as well.” Lisa Bilyeu [9:21]



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