Tom and Lisa

The Hard Truth About Deciding to Have Kids or Not

By September 25, 2020 Relationship Theory

Having children or not is, without a doubt, one of the biggest decisions you and your partner will ever make. How do you deal with the unsettled feeling that perhaps having kids isn’t right for you? How do you tell your family that they won’t be getting those long-expected grandchildren? On this episode of Relationship Theory, Tom and Lisa Bilyeu sit down to answer these questions and discuss why you need to be brutally honest about your intentions, the effect kids will have on your happiness, and how to deal with peer pressure from friends and family. They speak about the expectations and assumptions all of us carry in life, the brutal honesty about your happiness, the attention demanded by children, and how to establish boundaries with overbearing family members.


Decisions | Lisa and Tom discuss how to handle the decision of not having kids. [0:48]

Expectations | Tom and Lisa discuss the pressure and cultural norm to have children. [2:11]

Happiness | Tom and Lisa discuss how having kids takes a toll on your overall happiness. [3:30]

Honesty | Lisa and Tom discuss how they came to the conclusion of not having kids. [5:04]

Jealousy | Lisa shares a conversation she had with a friend about approaching jealousy. [7:55]

Impact | Lisa and Tom discuss the legacy they are building in lieu of children. [10:55]

Boundaries | Tom and Lisa discuss when they told their families of their decision. [12:39]


“And what’s the one thing that I really push back on? Things that demand my time.” [4:53]

“I want to be your number one and the second you have a baby, nature’s going to make sure that my attention is on the baby and not on you.” [6:13]

“Generation one builds the wealth, generation two enjoys the wealth, and generation three loses the wealth.” [12:05]










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