Tom and Lisa

Why You Shouldn't Give a Sh*t About Gender Roles and Expectations with Chores

Chores, responsibilities around the house, and gender roles. Combine them all and you’ll have a delicate subject that can make for a very difficult conversation to have with your partner. Yet, we must ask ourselves, “How much should gender norms really play in a relationship, who should be doing what around the house, and how can we begin acting out of love?” On this episode of Relationship Theory, Tom and Lisa Bilyeu sit down to discuss such matters and more as they explore expectations surrounding traditional gender roles and how to effectively determine who should be doing what around the house when it comes to chores and responsibilities. They discuss the importance of knowing what your values are in a relationship, the power of writing down expectations and needs, why you should do tasks out of love and not out of responsibility, why you should stay authentically yourself and not bend to fit gender roles, and why hiring help around the house is absolutely okay.


Gender Norms | Lisa and Tom open today’s episode about traditional gender roles. [0:20]

Values | Lisa and Tom share their differences between what they value regarding chores. [1:08]

Responsibility | Tom and Lisa discuss the importance of contributing no matter what. [3:13]

Agreeing | Tom and Lisa discuss the importance of agreeing on the same values. [3:38]

Discuss | Lisa and Tom share why you have to discuss the expectations for chores. [5:25]

Because of Love | Tom and Lisa reveal why you should do chores simply out of love. [6:04]

Be You | Tom and Lisa discuss why you should aggressively be your authentic self. [9:50]

Time vs Intensity | Lisa and Tom discuss individual expectations in a relationship. [11:04]

Help | Lisa and Tom discuss a simple approach to paying for help around the house. [12:45]


“Don’t make the mistake of thinking that because you make more money that means you have less responsibilities.” [3:13]

“Be aggressively who you are.” [9:50]











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