Tom & Lisa

How Good Sex Will Help Your Relationship and Your Mental Health | Relationship Theory

More than half of all teenagers are totally uncomfortable discussing the same thing that nearly a third of adults are uncomfortable discussing. Sex! The question that Tom and Lisa tackle today is if waiting to have sex before marriage is the right thing. Yes, there are religious and cultural beliefs that will provide the answer and wisdom you need should you subscribe to those beliefs, but in this episode Tom and Lisa take a practical perspective about sex before marriage, living together first, and discovering compatibility and a common baseline in one of the most important aspects of your relationship. Their advice for a long-term healthy and happy relationship acknowledges the importance of feeling safe physically and emotionally, but more importantly being open to communicate and discuss sex together.




Sex Before Marriage | Tom why waiting for marriage to have sex is madness [0:35]

Living Together | Tom explains why living together 1st is a best practice for longevity [1:25]

No Fireworks | Lisa on the disappoint of first sexual experience and missing the fireworks [3:41]

Safe Exploration | Connecting and having safety to physically and emotionally explore [5:28]

Compatibility | Being on the same page, shared electricity, and know your sex flavor [8:05]

Frequency | Having open communication about frequency and feeling neglected [9:02]

Orgasmic | Tom on the neuro chemistry and power orgasm has for antidepressant [11:33]

Fetishes | Important of openly discussing fetishes and having no judgement [13:07]

Growing | Tom shares the value evolving in the sexual relationship and journey together [15:27]

Real Talk | Real time communication Tom’s intention vs. Lisa’s values on “experiment” [16:06]



“I thought fireworks were gonna go off, I was going to be crowned, my life was never going to be the same, I was going to be finally a woman, like, it was like this big grand thing. And I had sex for the first time and was like, ‘huh!?’” Lisa Bilyeu [4:10]

“one of the best pieces of advice I ever got about sex was until you’re able to talk about it openly don’t have it.” Tom Bilyeu [5:49]

“…the things you will learn about yourself, what you like, the nature of sex itself is so profound, that having a level of experience and exploration I think is truly rewarding.” Tom Bilyeu [11:02]

“if you if you don’t have sex beforehand, if you don’t discuss it especially, then you may end up in a relationship with someone that is that may be the antithesis of what sexually turns you on.” Lisa Bilyeu [14:57]


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