Tom & Lisa

This is How You ACTUALLY MOTIVATE Your Partner | Relationship Theory

One of the worst possible scenarios in a relationship is having mismatched ambition and desires. Discovering a growth mindset is magical and beyond empowering. Having the motivation and ambition to be the greatest that ever lived at whatever you choose is a thrill very few people seriously achieve. When you’re in a relationship with someone that has no desire to grow and is comfortable with their lack of ambition, the tables easily turn and the survival of that relationship is highly unlikely. How do you navigate this predicament if you are already years in and now desire to have more and grow but your partner doesn’t want to? Tom and Lisa share what worked for them as they discovered a growth mindset together and how they motivated each other to greatness.



Growth Mode | Tom on pushing to get better and being dissatisfied with stagnation [0:37]

Pushing Pains | Why pushing someone that doesn’t want to grow is painful and not okay [2:11]

Mutual Growth | Why mutual desire to grow is more effective and stable in a relationship [3:32]

Mid-Relationship Growth | When one partner starts growth journey after years together [6:17]

Rewarding Behavior | Using a reward and “punish” system to encourage right behaviors [8:07]



“I think that proselytizing, trying to push somebody is a recipe for the zester like you’re begging for pain.” Tom Bilyeu [2:18]

“somebody who isn’t growth-minded is wasting their life.” Tom Bilyeu [2:58]

“it is relationship protective for you to get a growth mindset.” [12:46]

“trying to convince everybody of the utility of a growth mindset is a losing battle.” [13:15]



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