Tom & Lisa

How to Change a Person With a Fixed Mindset (Hint: You Can't!) | Relationship Theory

There are things we get to experience in life that are so hard to keep to ourselves. It’s like discovering a new flavor of ice cream, or a shortcut home that saves you 10 minutes. Part of our human nature is to share these life-changing moments with the people we love. Developing a growth mindset is no different. When you discover the power of having a growth mindset, suddenly all of the fixed-minded people in your life stick out and pluck your nerves every time you’re together. You only want the best for them, you want them to experience the power and potential you’ve unlocked, but they resist. Tom and Lisa discuss alternatives to dealing with people you love with a fixed mindset. When cutting them off and removing them from your life is not an option, here is where you start and how you can safeguard those relationships despite the differences.



The Frustration | Lisa on why it’s so hard to cut fixed-minded people off when you care [1:11]

The Pursuit | Learning to accept people for who they are if they’re not open to change [2:17]

The Push Back | How to meet them with compassion & empathy when they’re defensive [2:56]

The Buy-In | When they’ve bought into having a growth mindset, remind them [5:01]



“If you know that they’ve got a fixed mindset, and you’ve maybe tried to help them and it’s just not possible just detach yourself.” Lisa Bilyeu [2:27]


“the more you push, the more they resist.” Tom Bilyeu [4:35]


“Meeting them with compassion and empathy and then just living by example, will be a lot faster than pushing” Tom Bilyeu [4:53]


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