Tom & Lisa

Why Being “SELFISH” Might Actually IMPROVE Your Relationship | Tom and Lisa Bilyeu

You’re super busy between work life, home life and parenting life. There are always things to do and places to be, which leave you exhausted. In a fast paced society people are trained to not have meaningful downtime. Taking time for yourself can almost feel like punishment when you have so much on your plate. Any amount of time away from the kids can easily leave a parent with more guilt than relaxation. Tom and Lisa discuss why making time for yourself is critical and also how selfish, me-time can also include doing things you love with the person you love most as well. So whether it’s watching your favorite show or playing a video game with your partner, the point is to enjoy your downtime, be recharged, and feel good about yourself.


Relationship Theory with Tom and Lisa Bilyeu encourages healthy, loving, life long relationships. Whether you are fresh out of your last relationship, on a break, taking time to heal from a breakup, or looking for ways to strengthen the romance and bond in your current relationship, Tom and Lisa are sharing their 20 years of experience. They’re taking questions and giving relationship advice that will enhance all of your relationships.



Make Time | Tom on being intentional about selfish time and making your time sacred [0:16]

No Guilt | Lisa on not feeling guilty about taking selfish time and owning it [2:00]

True Alone Time | Tom differentiates relationship time from true alone time [2:46]

Shared Time | How Tom brought Lisa into his selfish time playing video games [3:54]

Show You Care | Lisa breaks down how she brought enthusiasm to their shared time [7:11]



“Make sure that everything is going to be covered so that you can have that downtime.” Tom Bilyeu [1:11]


“Finding those things that that one person likes, that you’re open and willing to try and then go in at full force, like don’t just give it 50%, do it 100% because you know you’re making that person happy, and once you open your mind to that there actually is opportunities to enjoy it.” Lisa Bilyeu [9:36]


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