Tom & Lisa

When to HAVE SEX for the First Time | Tom Bilyeu and Lisa Bilyeu

By September 10, 2021 Relationship Theory

This is a judgement free zone. If you’re not comfortable talking about sex, you may not be ready for sex yet. When it comes to dating, the million dollar question for men and women comes down to having sex on the first date and knowing when is the right time to have sex? Does having sex on the first date or too early in the relationship compromise your values or dampen your chemistry and compatibility? Tom and Lisa keep it straight forward and discuss their thoughts on having sex early in the relationship and on the first date. This topic ultimately comes down to being responsible, assessing the risk and determining what is safe for you given your particular situation. So, let’s talk about sex on first dates.


Relationship Theory with Tom and Lisa Bilyeu encourages healthy, loving, life long relationships. Whether you are fresh out of your last relationship, on a break, taking time to heal from a breakup, or looking for ways to strengthen the romance and bond in your current relationship, Tom and Lisa are sharing their 20 years of experience. They’re taking questions and giving relationship advice that will enhance all of your relationships.




1st Date Sex | Tom shares a male’s perspective having sex on the first date [0:48]

Feeling Safe | The importance of feeling safe and accurately assessing character [2:46]

Moving Fast | Tom talks about why moving too fast is an individual decision not a rule [3:56]

Compatibility | Lisa on why sexual compatibility is a must for a long term relationship [4:25]

Taking it Slow | Be clear on the why you’re having sex and what you really want out of it [5:47]

Danger | Tom on being safe and the need to be thoughtful and have trust before sex [7:13]

Sex Journey | Tom explains how getting to the part of having sex is truly a journey [9:02]




“If it’s a long term relationship, I think I would take it slower […] take more time to hear what their values are to see if we are compatible in mindsets, compatible in the way that we think, and then I would build the trust and then have sex. “ Lisa Bilyeu [6:12]


“If you don’t know and trust that person and feel like you’re communicating well, that could get dicey. It’s an intense proposition. People do need to be super thoughtful about how they handle it.” Tom Bilyeu [8:14]


“The reality is that sex is this thrilling, fascinating, risky, dangerous, bizarre, beautiful thing, and that we get to take advantage of it that we get to have those experiences is really extraordinary.” Tom Bilyeu [11:26]


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